Top Ten Tips for Expectant Twin parents
As daunting or as joyful as having Twins may appear for the first time mother, there are plenty of benefits ahead that will leave you smitten for the privilege of having twins. For the single birth mother the focus is all about mother/ baby. But for the mother of twins there is the added delight of being a group – mother and babies with baby to baby development which a single birth mother does not get. Here are ten things to consider for twins:
- Your babies are people in their own right with their own fledgling personalities. Yes you’re going to look at them as your two fabulous babies, but inside them is a little person yearning to grow. Looking for the little differences between your babies personalities is where to find their little treasures of being the twins, the same but different, is going to delight you again and again.
- Twins naturally end up bedding down together. Establishing your daily routines is key to managing your time together where bed time is one time where your twins will tend to reinforce each other. Like a married couple they will become accustomed to each other’s closeness and little noises through the night leaving no reason to wake one another up.
- Twins are born with a playmate. This obvious plus is going be a source of extra effort in the early days. However if it’s one thing our parents and grandparents always remind us, is just how quickly time will pass. Before you know it this will turn to your favour as you find your two babies are as interested in their twin as they are in their mother for play and stimulation giving mum those invaluable moments of respite, a moment of payback for all the extra effort earlier on.
- Do I buy two packs of X or will one pack be enough ? You'll never have to ask yourself such questions as you'll automatically be buying in bulk. Look for an influx of loyalty points across all your shopping trips. It may just get you that great pair of shoes to wear on a night out. Yes it might seem like that a night out will never happen again, but it will come and a little planning ahead like this might just be a little soothing reminder that life does get better. A little closer assessment of where you best value shopping comes from may bring surprises. If not already got your Coupon and loyalty radar up to speed, now is a good time to fine tune it.
- Breast feeding. Yes it is possible to feed both at the same time. It’s team play and everyone on the team needs practice. When one latches on the other may fall off. Be kind and patient with all your players, yourself included. A mix and match approach can help with one baby breast feeding while the other is supported with a pillow and bottle fed. Don't forget Dad as this is usually an important bonding time for him. Mum doesn't have to do it all on her own.
- From the get go of the birth your now on your way out of babies. For many couples of twins, two is enough. Sleepless nights and a constant level of exhaustion that comes from looking after babies is on the count down to end – it’s just one day at a time and nothing can speed it up when you so want to, nor can anything slow it down. The main thing is to look for little nibbles of comfort that makes you and your babies days easiest. In contrast for the parents of singleton babies, all this is going to repeat. Just when they've gotten over it all with their first child, they'll invariably begin it all over again for the second child.
- Reality check. Rearing a family is unrelenting no matter your mood or your personal life circumstances. Set up support whilst pregnant. If you find yourself persistently overwhelmed with the demands on you, ask for and seek help. It may be one of your friends, another mother who is further along than yourself, your family or other support groups. You'll probably be surprised to find you’re far from alone for feeling overwhelmed. Many others will have been just where you are, have been and are going. Seek their support. They'd probably be only too glad to help if only you'd ask. The usual support services are a place to start, online forums offer a connection to other parents who may offer advice, or your local church may turn up support groups or perhaps someone who can just help out for a few hours to get your chores done or just give you break. If you don't ask, you don't get.
- Getting extra Support. Do you have a spare room that you could offer in exchange for nanny services for a Student ? Relative?...
- Get online and search for local twins groups in your area.
- Organisation is so often the key to making life easier. Organising the stuff for the mornings the night before may well take some of the pressure off for the morning start. After the babies go down for the night, a nap for yourself may be enough of a recharge to give you the energy to cope with the dishwasher, laundry and getting things ready for the morning. These little power naps can stave off passing out later on and not getting anything done.